What Motivates You?

What motivates me? It's a question that has been rattling around in my brain for several days now. I have a few projects that I want to begin or finish and I seem to find a million things to do other than work on those. So, as a coach, I began to ask myself questions like "What motivates me?"
Pondering this question brings to mind several answers. It depends on what I want the end result to be. If I want money to make my car payment, I go to work at my second part time job. If I want money to keep the cash flow coming at our business I work on billing invoices. These answers seem obvious.
But what about projects of a more personal matter? I want to lose weight before my daughter's wedding in September. I want to build my coaching business into a full time job. I want to begin to balance my life in the areas of fitness, nutrition, spiritual growth and career. What's winning the battle here? Procrastination! I look at the calendar and think, "Oh, I've got time" It is a habit pattern that I have set. I tell myself, "Oh I work better with a deadline!" In college, I actually worked 24 hours straight, the day before it was due, to complete a project that I had two weeks to complete! I'm not telling you this because I am proud of this habit. It is just something I have noticed about my personal performance. I tend to put things off until the last critical hour. Sometimes that is too late!
So back to the question I posed earlier. I think it would be more truthful to ask the question why? Why do I want to lose weight? Why do I want to build my coaching business? Why do I want what I want? If I am honest with myself and answer this question I am sure I would begin to tackle my bigger goals. A wise person once said, "When your why is big enough, your hows will be answered."
I could go back to each challenge I mentioned above and write out a goal sheet and action steps to reach each goal. I might even begin each step with the mindset of 'I am gonna accomplish this if it kills me! I am going to stay on target!'. But after anything less than 21 days, (the amount of time it takes to change a habit) I will probably lose my motivation and quit. So instead I have chosen to answer the shorter question, why.
I took a piece of paper out and wrote out my answers to the questions above. I answered the tough question, why?. I found in this process, I became clear on what I wanted and the whys surprised me. I am not going to share my answers with you because they are really personal. I will share my conclusions. Everybody should give this a try. If you are brutally honest you will discover amazing things about yourself.
As a side note, I asked the question why more than once. For example: I want to lose 40 pounds before Sept 5, 2009. Why? That is the day that my daughter is getting married. Why? I know there will be lots of pictures taken that day. Why? I don't want to look fat in those pictures. Why? I don't like myself when I am heavy. Why? I don't feel confident when I am fat. Why? I think others will think I am fat and not like me. Why? I want other people's approval. Why? Because I get my sense of self esteem from how other people feel about me. OK that was heavy (pardon the pun) but at last I got down to the real reason I want to lose weight.
If the pain of being fat is enough, I will began the necessary steps to fix the problem that causes the pain. It is only through honesty that I will ever find the motivation to stay with a diet and weight loss plan.
So try it yourself. You can either write down your answers to the questions like I did or you can answer them out loud with another trusted partner. If you chose to do this soul searching out loud, the only feed back your partner should offer is the question, why. Typing it out on a computer doesn't have the same effect either. There is something about claiming your truth via the hand and pen and paper or out loud that removes blockages.
The truth will set you free!

A Very Special Football Game

21 Days

I once heard it said that it takes 21 days to change a habit. I am not sure where this number came from or what significant research backs it up. I just know that I have heard it said time and time again.
I heard Neil Armstrong speak at a seminar last summer in Aspen, Co. He shared this story. As NASA was preparing the astronauts for space travel in the early 60's, they were unsure about the effects of weightlessness on a body. So they developed a set of goggles that inverted all images. Everything appeared upside down. They asked the astronauts to wear them every day for 21 days. What they found was that the body adapted to these goggles after 21 days and the brain flipped the images back right side up. Another group was tested and were allowed to take their goggles off for 1 night after they had worn them for 19 days. The next day they put them back on. Guess how many days it took them before their brains inverted the images?
If you guessed 2 days, you are wrong. It took them an additional 21 days for their brains to flip the images!
So my buddy coach, Mari, and I got to talking about this statistic. What keeps a person on track for 21 days? Sometimes it's stubbornness. Sometimes it's an accountability partner. Sometimes you do it to prove to someone else that you can. Other times you really want the results that are waiting at the end of the endeavor. In my case, I quit smoking by going "cold turkey". I have not smoked in five years.
So, what changes do you want to make in your life? Do you want it bad enough to put forth an effort for the next 21 days? If the answer if yes, then get yourself the support that you need to keep you on track. Tell others what you are doing. Ask others to keep you accountable. Make a bet with your friend or partner. Get a really clear picture of what your life will be like when you reach that magic goal of 21 days. Keep that carrot dangling in front of you. Put up pictures of what your result will look like. Your mind thinks in pictures so surround yourself with visual reminders.
Don't quit. Push on for the next 3 weeks. Remember what happened to the astronauts after 19 days and keep working toward the end. Your efforts will be rewarded!

I learned how to sign my name. Isn't it cool?

Raising Positive Kids

When I told my oldest daughter that I was taking a blogging class, she posted her remarks to my facebook page. It read something like "my mom blogging lol....... " I replied that she had better be careful or else my first blog would be about raising 'difficult' children like her! !! ! She replied, "Me difficult? Ha! I'm freakin capable (another one of our inside jokes). What is difficult is living with you my Mrs. Positive Attitude Mother!"
So Jamie, in your honor, I am going to share our Find One Thing Positive family story! As a note to other parents reading this.....be careful what you say to your children. They really are listening!
I will admit I am a self proclaimed, personal development junkie! I believe in having a positive mental attitude and I try to look for the blessings or positive moments in every difficult situation. To those who do not share my views, this can be a most annoying habit, especially if you just want to sit on your pity pot and be miserable for awhile.
When my kids were in elementary school, they would often come home complaining when I asked them about their day. I'd listen to their long list of woes about how hard math class was and how stupid they thought school was. They'd whine about friends and bounce ball games and recess disagreements. When I finally had my fill of negative news reporting, I'd poise my favorite statement, "So, name one thing that was good about school today!"
They would often groan out loud and mutter , "Nothing."
Not to be one to let them off easy, I would push and prod until they could name at least one positive thing about their day. True, there were some days that we simply acknowledged that there was enough oxygen for them to breath. Searching for anything more was not worth more agitation. But there were many more days that they found something to be grateful for or they quit complaining so they would not have to feel positive out loud with me!
I wasn't trying to be the poster child for positivity, I just know that what you focus on grows. If you focus on only the bad things that happen in your day, you can bet you will get more bad days. If you look for the good in the world, then you can find good in any situation. Gratitude is an attitude! We train our brain to find whatever we are looking for.
But I have to tell the rest of the story. I came home from work one night after a particularly bad day. I was cranky and was telling Jamie all about my terrible day as I made supper. She listened politely for awhile and just as I reached for a two pound bag of noodles on the top shelf
she hit me with that now famous phrase, "So tell me one good thing that happened to you today!"
I snapped back the next famous line, "Nothing!" as the open bag of macaroni noodles began to rain down on my head. I had noodles in my hair, on the floor, on the stove, under the burners, and all over my kitchen. Jamie would not let me off easy. She asked me again to find one positive thing. I scooped up a handful of noodles and tossed them at her. Soon we were laughing and having an all out noodle food fight in the kitchen. And I did find some things to be thankful for like daughters who make me laugh and lessons that I can learn from.

Wahoo! I am officially blogging in cyberspace now!!! Brook is teaching us all the tricks of the trade in a class sponsored by Mid Plains Community College. I'm sure my brain will retain at least some portion of all this information. I can call Miss Vicki and she will help me remember!!!
We took a photo of us in the car before we left to drive to class. I will have to see if I can remember how to upload pics.
No mater how this looks now. I am enjoying learning fun new things.